Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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