this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
