I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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