There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
