i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
