i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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