I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
