Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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