if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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