i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
