Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
