I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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