I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
