I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
