I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Randomize
