i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
