Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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