Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
