I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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