If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
