If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Farmville is her only friend.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
