JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
