There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
