i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
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