She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
