It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
