This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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