i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
