I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
