I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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