Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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