Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
