i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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