Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
