I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
