You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
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