i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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