So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
