I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
