if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
