The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
