literally had 100 drinks last night.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
