This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
