you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
i now understand why vodka
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
