Where are you?
In a non slutty way
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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