dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
