You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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