I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
