ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
