talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize
